It's 4:40 am and ten minutes ago I woke up with a jolt and had to gasp for air and was all panicky...I am chalking it up to either this is the first time in I can't even remember that I have slept in without Lily waking up because she usually wakes up around 2 or 3 am for a feeding or tomorrow (actually today Monday) that I will be alone with the twins for the VERY FIRST time since Lily had her seizure and was rushed to the hospital. I will only be alone with them for a couple of hours until my parents arrive but I guess I am worried that something will happen. I know it's an irrational fear and I will have to be alone with them eventually but I guess I have been slightly scarred by what happened the last time I was alone with the twins. My rational side knows the percentage of a repeat performance is VERY VERY low but I guess my overactive imagination keeps taunting me and saying "What if?!?!?!??!" I am hoping by actually writing this I will feel a little at ease and be able to calm down and fall back asleep. I know everything is in God's hands and He is always with me and I just have to let go of these irrational fears and let Him lead the way...OK have to check on Lily I think she is starting to wake up if anyone comes across this today please pray for me and ask God to send me some calmness.
Our daughter Lily was diagnosed with a rare brain tumor at 4 months of age, this is a blog about her and our journey since then.
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